What kind of thing…
Sometimes I sit back and take stock of my world and how the things which I choose to do can effect others. Now I am going to tell you about something which recently happened… I did a thing…a comeback…
At the beginning of April I completed my fourth half marathon. It was a pretty big deal for me. This was the first time since the loss of my mother where I chose to train, put the effort in, (anyone who knows me and my sense of humor knows I call myself #turtletrotter because I am SLOW!) Doing this was part of what I have been calling my comeback.
What am I coming back from? I am coming back from a pandemic which has taken so many. Heartache which has left me brokenhearted from losing faith in people I had believed in and loss of some faith in the world in general. The sense of realization that I am now a person without either parent living. Feeling lost without a parent. Feeling lost amongst so many others who are hurting but not knowing what to do with their hurt.
Some of the past…
In 2019 my family and I decided to do the nine plus one program through New York Road Runners to run the NYC Marathon in 2020. https://www.nyrr.org/ We completed nine plus one and I thought off we go! For obvious reasons, the 2020 NYC Marathon never happened. We deferred our placement until 2022.
So now the time is here. Doing the half marathon in April gave me a sense of purpose. A sense of knowing what it is like to comeback from the feelings which can feel way too vulnerable, way too hard to ever express to anyone. For me, being out there was a feeling of I am going to make it.
Why would I write about such a personal subject knowing that people who don’t even know me will read this and may wonder about why I chose to be vulnerable, open myself up in a way in which people may never understand? Well, May in National Mental Health Awareness Month https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Mental-Health-Awareness-Month and I have grappled with what to do for my small part.
Where I am going…
Perhaps this is my part in letting others know that it is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to have setbacks, and it is awesome to have comebacks. Whatever happens at the NYC marathon for this #turtletrotter I can know that I chose to come back to things knowing I am not the same person I was when I did nine plus one back in 2019. In some ways I am better, in some ways I am stronger, and in some ways I am unsure. Life has changed me but I am who I am and I plan to keep on doing my best, even at a #turtletrotter pace. If you are trying to comeback from something, anything at all, put one foot forward. That is one foot further than you would have been if you had not taken the step.
In peace and light,
Alicia
